The seven warning signs that a relationship is in trouble are:

1. Fighting has become the rule rather than the exception to the rule.
2. You find yourself looking outside the relationship for comfort, care, and understanding.
3. You can't remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
4. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship -- sleeping in different rooms or different beds, lack of interest, anger, and hostility so that intimacy is out of the question.
5. Spending very little time together, friends seem to be more important than your partner.
6. Reactions to situations are disproportionate to the content of the disagreement (i.e., feeling your partner doesn't love you because she/he didn't like the meal you cooked).
7. Feeling helpless and hopeless to change anything. Feeling done with the relationship, but unclear as to where to go and what to do. Feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and desperation are predominant.

If any or all of these describe you in your relationship, your relationship is in trouble and it won't be long before something more drastic happens, such as an affair, arguments get worse and inflate with intensity, increased jealousy, silence for longer periods of time, and sometimes even physical and/or verbal abuse.

Before your relationship reaches that critical crisis point, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late:
  1. Seek psychotherapy
  2. Read books
  3. Talk to a spiritual/religious advisor
Without help, the relationship will never get better with time; once a certain level of resentment, anger, and hostility hits, it will simply get worse and worse. Avoiding a total crisis and saving the relationship is done by knowing when you're in trouble and taking immediate action.

1. Stop off on your way home from work: Pick up your sweetheart's favorite "thing." Maybe it's a special flavor of Haagen-Dazs, the pizza with that wacky assortment of toppings, a new book by his/her favorite author, a CD he/she has mentioned wanting to get, a t-shirt with her/his (or as a couple your) favorite sayings on it. How about the laundry he/she keeps forgetting to pick up. Do not make a big deal of this little "love token" by some grand verbal announcement of it, instead leave it somewhere in the house where he/she will soon find it.

2. Throw that secret look: Send a smile or smirk that only the two of you understand. No words need to accompany it. Maybe it is a wink or nod or other signal the two of you have established that means, "I love you." Sending it to your lover when it is most unexpected, gesticulates tremendous warmth and affection. In all its silence, this beacon of love can end an argument, set up a soon-to-be intimate encounter or just remind your partner you are thinking special thoughts about them right in the middle of, well, nothing in particular.

3. Slip a supportive note or affirmation in her purse/his jacket pocket: Though it may be days or weeks before he/she finds and sees it. No need to ask, "Did you get my note?" Just let your mate come upon it randomly. Whenar mate does, the impact will be stupendous!

4. Demonstrate that you are trying to correct that annoying habit: Make an obvious effort to stop doing it. That could include picking up your dirty socks to cleaning the empty coffee cups off the center console of the car to tossing your gum in the trash when you have the urge to smack it. Do not say, "See, I'm working on that." Your actions will speak for themselves.

5. Send one of those "just because" or "it made me think of you" cards or books: Send one that has a message in it that only the two of you would get -- an affectionate or humorous one -- that reminds them you would not want to belong to anyone else. Shhh, do not mention it. By sending it, you have said it all.

6. Do a good deed for your partner: One they know you typically avoid taking on and expect them to do instead. This might be taking out the trash, cleaning up after dinner, making the kids' lunches, running to the grocery store, etc. Knowing that you did the chore or task he/she knows you generally dislike can speak volumes of how you feel about him/her.

7. Post your anniversary date in a place where your mate will see it: Whether it is on the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator door, inside the checkbook or day planner or on their dashboard. Next to it, write, "Best day of my life." No need to say "I love you," you just did.

8. Extend a gentle touch at least once a day: Not as a request for intimacy, but as a gesture of warmth and respect. A slight and tender stroke across his/her , shoulder or a few soft fingertips across the cheek can speak loudly and clearly.

Tip #1: Don't Talk, Listen

In too many arguments, one side says something, then the other side says something else, and then monologue circles into oblivion. This doesn't work, so you won't do this.

Instead, you won't talk at the beginning. Your opponent has some points in his or her head, and will want to express these points. Until the person has expressed these points and believes you understand them, that person will not listen very well to your points. Nor will the person accept your points, regardless of how technically correct you are.
Listen until your opponent doesn't want to talk anymore. Find out everything they think. Ask questions, but make sure these are genuine questions to gain more information, not challenges disguised as questions. Aside from calming and disarming your opponent, your listening will give you a great deal of information on your opponent. You can use this information to better form your argument.

Also, reiterate the person's points often. This will show you that you're listening, which will cause them to better listen to you. Also, it will show that you understand the person, which makes your arguments appear stronger (in fact, understanding your opponent's arguments probably truly makes your arguments stronger).

Finally, agree with your opponent as much as you can. If necessary, find the most insignificant thing to agree with. Once you agree with them, they'll be more likely to agree with you. The more of your opponent's points you can agree with, the better.

Tip #2: State Your Case, But Not Too Soon

Once the opponent feels heard, you've agreed, and the opponent realizes you understand where they're coming from...then, and only then, should you start stating your case.

It's probably wise to repeat their points that are relevant. Say how you understand where they're coming from. You just want them to see where you're coming from. The more you can integrate their words and their points in your case, the more your case will feel like their own. This will help you "win".

Tip #3: I think

Try to stay away from "I think..." statements. These words water down your points, and can easily be refuted with an opposing "but I think..."

Finally, try to genuinely care about what the opponent has to say. You can't fake this, nor can you fake the listening and the understanding. The best way to win an argument is to genuinely care what the opponent has to say, truly consider it in your opinion, and then form your opinion accordingly.

By: Steffie

Having a girlfriend is a lot of work. AS her boyfriend you have to know how to keep her happy. So here are some tips to keep her smiling.

Show her that you care:

Ask her how her day was, and ask her about herself and her family. Make her the center of your conversations. It makes her feel important, and shows that you actuall care about her.

Buy her flowers and boxes of candies just because:

Don't wait for valentines day or an anniversary to give that special someone a gift. Giving her a gift just because it's Thursday, or just because you think she's beautiful.

Give her your attention when she wants it:

Ok don't ignore your girlfriend. As a chick I know that my favorite time to bug my boyfriend is when he's watching a sports game. Give your girl your attention duringthese games. Ignoring her makes her feel unimportant to you. Something as simple as kissing her inbetween plays or talking to her on the phone while watching the game will put a smile on her face.

Pay attention to her:

Remember the smallest things about her. When she gets mad at you tell her these little tid bits. It'll shock her as to how much you actually know and care about her.

Be romantic:

Candle light dinners, strolls in the park, fun little games, compliment her even if she isn't dressed up. Tell her she's beautiful even if she just woke up and has bed hair.

Don't make sex seem like the only thing you want from her:

Don't make sex seem like its the only reason you are with her. Yes, sex is important to a relationship, but it is also healthy to just cuddle every now and then. And remember, don't be a selfish lover.

Are you dying to know what's in the mind of the guy you love? Is your mind in the state of confusion? Does the guy you like, really loves you or not? Are you curious to know if he is interested or moving around with other girl or not interested at all? What should be your next step to get all the information about him? Are there any guidelines available that can surely help you out?

If you want to know the answers to all these questions, then following are some ways to know whether the person is having feelings for you or not. If the person really likes you then his feelings must be reflected by his behaviour, actions or expressions.

  1. Does his dressing style have changed? Check his way of dressing and presenting himself. Was he a carefree guy before meeting you? And gradually changed his attire and looks to impress you.
  2. Does he glance at you more often while working? When you are busy in your work, if he gives you quick look but immediately shift to something else if you make eye contact with him.
  3. Does he offer his hand of help whenever you entrap yourself in any sort of trouble? If he is always ready to help you-out with your tiniest problem to prove himself as the right person for you.
  4. Is he a very chatty person who used to converse and make fun with all other friends but when he talks with you, use very sophisticated language or communicate in a very conscious manner? Observe his actions and behavior with other girls or his friends. If he waits for you or always look for the moment to share a talk with you.
  5. Does his behavior remains indifferent with you and other people he meets? Notice whether he changes his attitude. If you find something different in his deeds then make a point that he is also having feelings for you.
  6. Does his disposition also changes according to your mood? Whenever you feel happy, he also looks cool? But as you feel down he also becomes upset or tries various ways to make you happy directly or indirectly? If he cares for you then he definitely would put all the efforts to make you happy.

The best way to know what he wants is to ask him directly. But if you feel 'fear of rejection' from his side then use some indirect ways to know the reality:

  • Go out with other friends or talk with them very nicely, if he feels jealous or irritated, then probability of liking you is very high.
  • In the beginning, if he feels shy in talking to you then converse with him in a very casual manner, later-on he becomes open to you and start sharing his feelings.
  • If he talks you the same way as other girls then his chances of liking you is nil. Also if he got the clue that you like him and if he starts ignoring you then that is also the indication of negative feelings or hesitation.

These are some tips to try-out for knowing that the person you really love. One last suggestion; "don't ever wait for things to happen by themselves, if you got the opportunity to show your feelings then don't merely waste it to regret in the future".

When it comes to the matter of love a lot of people have a lot of doubts specially when it comes to the matter of trying to figure out whether someone's love towards you is true and genuine or not. Do you know that there are ways using which you can easily figure out whether the love is really there and at the same time is it genuine or not. Read on to discover what these tricks are and achieve earth shattering results using them......

Does he/she talk about marriage- If your mate truly loves you then he or she would always talk in the long term and bring up the subject of marriage many times. You see when we are truly in love we lose the fear of commitment and we get a strong urge to be with that person for the rest of our lives.

Do they publicly say I love you to you? - This is another strong indicator that your mate truly loves you and his/her love is genuine. If the love is true your mate would not be ashamed to show public affection and at the same time they would not care about what other people think about your relationship. You would be their primary focus more or less.

Is he/she willing to share everything with you- When a person truly loves you he or she will be willing to share anything and everything with you including their secrets, money, home and everything else. You see loving someone means caring for that person's needs and making sacrifices at the same time to meet those needs. Not only this your partner would completely trust you and never question you on anything no matter what.

  1. Believe in yourself.
  2. Relax Always have a relaxed face and a relaxed body, but maintain good posture. A good way to practice is to walk around your house while balancing a book on your head. During this exercise, be sure to remain relaxed.
  3. Determine the type or types of people you want to attract.
  4. Find clothes that fit your image. If you don't feel like you're as attractive as you would like to be, clothes and other accessories can help you feel more confident. Your clothes will help communicate who you are, and who you want to be.
  5. Exercise. Health is universally attractive. Dancing, running, pilates, swimming and other sports are good choices. Take nightly walks of at least a mile. If you can't manage a good diet and exercise, choose exercise. It will make your body more attractive to men by improving your posture, strengthening your legs and butt, and relieving stress.
  6. Maintain excellent hygiene. People do notice. Brush twice a day and floss once a day. Use mouthwash if you have bad breath. Keep your skin looking healthy with moisturizer and some time in the sauna or steam room. Get manicures and pedicures.
  7. Be comfortable in your sexuality and your gender role. If femininity is something that you value and those whom you want to attract also value it, you may want to accentuate your feminine qualities.Only you will know what fits you best, and what those whom you want to attract are interested in.


Free Blogger Templates